![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zahrynIt's morning. I'm always amazed by the power that morning has. All the badness of the night has been swept away, and while I still have residual anger and panic type sensations, it's nowhere near the head-spinning anxiety of last night.
I think it's partly to do with there not being nightmares during the day, fortunatly I'm not prone to daymares, but also I think my branes(or peoples branes in general) do an awful lot of shuftying during the night so in the morning things seem better ordered.
It's helped even more by finding the banana custard in the fridge that mum left for me when they went to G-mas yesterday. Every once in a while I'm touched by something thoughtful she does, she knows I love left-over banana custard for breakfast, and even though we weren't having any for afters, she made me a special banana custard for this morning.
My nightmares existed on several levels last night, I didn't even get to bed until after 2am, so first there was a nightmare about a handfasting, where My Lady appeared to me and said I couldn't be handfasted to anyone else while I was still attached to Charlie. Then I was surrounded by flames and I could feel my skin burning and crackling and I woke up.
I fell asleep again almost before I was even awake properly and dropped into a now very familiar 'mare. I am at a funeral, it's usually the funeral of one of two people, and I am there with the other. The funeral is always held at midnight on a full moon and I have the impression of it being summer, it's warm and every once in a while I have a waft of 'summer,' honeysuckle on a breeze.
Everything is very calm and everyone seems to be in the spirit of celebrating the life of the person, rather than grieving. Always during the dream, the person I am with waits until the very last guest has left and then dramatically kills themself, falling onto the sunken coffin of the other. I always wake up at that point feeling abject despair, totally alone and traumatised, it's so unexpected, out of the character of the whole event and completely devastates me. I wake up in tears, or screaming and then lie awake for ages thinking about the dream.
Last night I woke from this one at about 4am and did get back to sleep again after judiscious application of 'thunderstorms in the wilderness' which tends to play on an 8 hour loop all night these days. Thank Gods for the 'repeat' button on my stereo. Sometimes I use my CD of wolf song instead, either are guaranteed to make me feel safe and warm and cozy in my bed which helps calm me on nights like these.
I had quite a busy night in the end, another 2, slightly less epic nightmares that nontheless have left me a bit wierd this morning.
I must get on though, I have to shower and then stop into work and drop off some food, pictures and bits I did for the Chinese New Year celebrations we're doing today. I then have to decide what I'm doing for the rest of the weekend. I'm off today and Monday so I have a nice 4 day weekend.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nutter4 and probetech have kindly offered to host me last minute, so have Beth and Simon, and oddly enough, my parents :-0.
The window cleaner has just arrived.
I think it's partly to do with there not being nightmares during the day, fortunatly I'm not prone to daymares, but also I think my branes(or peoples branes in general) do an awful lot of shuftying during the night so in the morning things seem better ordered.
It's helped even more by finding the banana custard in the fridge that mum left for me when they went to G-mas yesterday. Every once in a while I'm touched by something thoughtful she does, she knows I love left-over banana custard for breakfast, and even though we weren't having any for afters, she made me a special banana custard for this morning.
My nightmares existed on several levels last night, I didn't even get to bed until after 2am, so first there was a nightmare about a handfasting, where My Lady appeared to me and said I couldn't be handfasted to anyone else while I was still attached to Charlie. Then I was surrounded by flames and I could feel my skin burning and crackling and I woke up.
I fell asleep again almost before I was even awake properly and dropped into a now very familiar 'mare. I am at a funeral, it's usually the funeral of one of two people, and I am there with the other. The funeral is always held at midnight on a full moon and I have the impression of it being summer, it's warm and every once in a while I have a waft of 'summer,' honeysuckle on a breeze.
Everything is very calm and everyone seems to be in the spirit of celebrating the life of the person, rather than grieving. Always during the dream, the person I am with waits until the very last guest has left and then dramatically kills themself, falling onto the sunken coffin of the other. I always wake up at that point feeling abject despair, totally alone and traumatised, it's so unexpected, out of the character of the whole event and completely devastates me. I wake up in tears, or screaming and then lie awake for ages thinking about the dream.
Last night I woke from this one at about 4am and did get back to sleep again after judiscious application of 'thunderstorms in the wilderness' which tends to play on an 8 hour loop all night these days. Thank Gods for the 'repeat' button on my stereo. Sometimes I use my CD of wolf song instead, either are guaranteed to make me feel safe and warm and cozy in my bed which helps calm me on nights like these.
I had quite a busy night in the end, another 2, slightly less epic nightmares that nontheless have left me a bit wierd this morning.
I must get on though, I have to shower and then stop into work and drop off some food, pictures and bits I did for the Chinese New Year celebrations we're doing today. I then have to decide what I'm doing for the rest of the weekend. I'm off today and Monday so I have a nice 4 day weekend.
nutter4 and probetech have kindly offered to host me last minute, so have Beth and Simon, and oddly enough, my parents :-0. The window cleaner has just arrived.
