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Well, weird feelings today. I'm excited, nervous and deathly afraid all at the same time.
I finally feel a bit more organised, I have "guest-ified" my bed, sorted out pillows and quilt to take with me as well as bedding, packed some stuff into my car to take tomorrow and written a list of what I'd like to take with me if there's room/places/power etc.
I'm feeling disconnected a bit, like things are just happening with no input from me, I've had good contact with Garry over the past couple of days which considering I'm entering another hormonal spaz episode is really good and re-assuring. Things in that area seem to be going well (if I'm any judge, and I think I might be) but as usual the vulnerability is looking for an edge.
Otherwise, I hit the road super-early tomorrow to Nottingham to get my living arrangements firmed up and move some bits in, then I think it'll feel more like I'm actually ready which is the basis for the negative feelings, feeling like I'm just not prepared and I should have worked harder, not taken a week off and been better organised.
Mum is behaving as though I'm moving back to Montana, going on about how it'll be horrible not having me here and how lonely she'll be with no-one to talk to again *sigh* I feel like a shit but I know I'll go nuts if I stay.
Well, I have a lovely man on MSN chatting with me and a bed to head for.
Night Night.
Well, weird feelings today. I'm excited, nervous and deathly afraid all at the same time.
I finally feel a bit more organised, I have "guest-ified" my bed, sorted out pillows and quilt to take with me as well as bedding, packed some stuff into my car to take tomorrow and written a list of what I'd like to take with me if there's room/places/power etc.
I'm feeling disconnected a bit, like things are just happening with no input from me, I've had good contact with Garry over the past couple of days which considering I'm entering another hormonal spaz episode is really good and re-assuring. Things in that area seem to be going well (if I'm any judge, and I think I might be) but as usual the vulnerability is looking for an edge.
Otherwise, I hit the road super-early tomorrow to Nottingham to get my living arrangements firmed up and move some bits in, then I think it'll feel more like I'm actually ready which is the basis for the negative feelings, feeling like I'm just not prepared and I should have worked harder, not taken a week off and been better organised.
Mum is behaving as though I'm moving back to Montana, going on about how it'll be horrible not having me here and how lonely she'll be with no-one to talk to again *sigh* I feel like a shit but I know I'll go nuts if I stay.
Well, I have a lovely man on MSN chatting with me and a bed to head for.
Night Night.
