Sorting Day

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I'm doing a turf out, getting an idea of what I want to take with me, what I *need* to take with me, so I know what it looks like (and therefore whether it will fit in the room when I get there.)

Either I, or Garry and I will be going next Wednesday to have a look at the house and room, meet K and suss out a route back to work from there. I am also doing a bit more of a 'divest and let go' of my stuff, I need to get up in the loft and check out what's there that I might want to take. (shoes and the like)

I need to check if there's hardwood flooring through the whole house, if so, I suspect K will not want me to bring my altar table or desk, which is fine but I'll need somewhere to stick my stereo (can't be without music and computer *shudder*) also want to ask if putting a swatch of carpet underneath them will help, I can organise that no problems.

I have just cleaned out the fridge, I like to every once in a while, it calms me, and I now have an idea why Garrys fridge is feeling the need to wee itself at the weekends so I plan to have a look at that this weekend as well. Ours is now clean, all the stuff that's expired by more than a year has been chucked and it's had a general sort out.

To Check:
- Do I need to bring my own bedding? I don't have a King Sized sheet :o( but my quilt and top sheets etc would be fine.
- Is there space for my desk and altar table if it is carpeted? (Might put carpet down anyway to prevent divoting)
- Is there anywhere for book storage?

Ok, back to the sorting.... I'm excited but also now getting nervous.

Another Horizon

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After yesterday watching the programme on Isolation from last weeks Horizon, I went back to iplayer today and watched this weeks programme about drugs.
( The science and my opinion )

Wondering

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I'm feeling lonely and hibernatory today, it's got me thinking about living alone.

Since I got home, I've considered that I've never lived alone, I've always lived in a house with at least one other person, and I've wondered if I'm missing out on something, that perhaps it's an experience I should have.

There have been a few things in the 'plus' column, like autonomy, being able to decide or at least have a say in how things are, and a bit of control. There have been things in the 'minus' column too, expense being the big one. Related to the isolation thing I've never really worried about spending time on my own, I've always thought that I'd be able to cope quite well, and the times I have been alone (usually when my parents are away) it's been a sigh of relief and I've really enjoyed it.

I don't know if it's because of everything that's been going on, emerging and developing relationships or the medical stuff, maybe it's just revealing itself to me at this time, but I am considering things like loneliness as factors when I never have before. It's changed the balance, so while the balance has always been about equal between the positives and negatives of living alone, there's been a recent shift towards negative.

It's not really recent, it's been going on for a few months and I think it's one of the reasons I haven't pushed too hard to get out on my own. If the past 2 days have taught me anything it's that I really can be pro-active, eager and efficient, getting things sorted, arranging finance and practicalities, so now I wonder has my foot-dragging previously been related to not really wanting to be on my own, even though it's something I've thought I was working towards?

Hmm, maybe the whole living alone experience isn't vital to my development as a human being and I should stop trying to bully myself into believing that it is? Maybe I am a social animal rather than a solitary one and I should just go with it?